Struggle with Struggle

"Ours is a planet of polarity: the poor and the rich; the hungry and the well fed; the healthy and the terminally ill. Within these apparent contradictions we struggle for meaning. For dignity. For equality. The human story is built into this struggle...Yes, humanity's song is the absurd, the tragic, the comic; the profane and the beautiful; the fallen and the redeemed. Our society is fraught with inconsistencies and absurdities...The highs and lows, the dark and the light. This is the absurdity of our bipolar existence. Stretched thin between the dichotomy of death and breath, ashes and cash, pain and beauty. The scope of it all is enough to drive a man crazy. " -- Jon Foreman, in the article "Vice Verses: Making Art Out of Tension."

Today was a harder day in el campo, visiting the neighborhood of Paraiso. Paraiso means "paradise" but in this neighborhood, things are not what most of us consider to be paradise. I've often heard people say, after seeing someone living in poverty, "I learned to be happy without material things because these people just radiate joy and happiness." I think I've said this myself. And we're content with that because we've put a band-aid on the gaping wound of poverty, calling it "happiness despite."

But what do you do when the people aren't happy? When they are tired and defeated. When their baby is sick and the last cow just died. When they don't want to invite you into their homes because they're ashamed because they know you're at the other end of the dichotomy. The FAR end. And the truth is, you're ashamed too because "the scope of it all is enough to drive a man crazy."

I don't doubt God's plan but I don't claim to understand it either. Why was I given what I was? My family, my house, my car, my education? If you have an easy answer, I honestly don't want to hear it because this answer isn't easy. It can't be easy when the lives of some people are so hard.

I think we have to be ok with not knowing what God was planning when it looks like He divided the pie unequally, unjustly. I think where Christians run into trouble is when we try to answer these questions too quickly. I think we undermine peoples' suffering when we do that. We need to take the time to wrestle those answers out, to struggle with why people struggle.

Yikes, sorry folks. That may have been a downer. I'm just trying to do Bolivia justice.

Deep breath...publish.