Every so often, I'd like to post some old journal entries about the bigger picture process of going to Bolivia. They won't be too personal and I'll edit them as I go but I thought it might be cool to see just how long this trip was in the making. This is one from way back in February.
Exhale. This weekend I was reminded how much I hate change. This house is going to be completely different next year. I won't be in my sweet little room. There will be new people and new stuff and new ways of doing things. And I might be semi-ok with all of this, truly, if it weren't for the fact that I'm planning on being in Latin America in the fall. Laugh with me, won't you? The momma's girl that doesn't like change will be on another continent. Can I really do that? Am I crazy? This could be disastrous!
And amidst all those thoughts, God so clearly said, "Legitimate reasons and fears become bad excuses after I call you."
It made me stop. Which is a big deal in the middle of a busy Thursday -or any weekday for that matter (PS I am so thankful that God speaks amidst my chaos! Yes, it is fantastic to give Him sacred space but sometimes -He just speaks anyway). It makes my stomach drop because a) God just spoke to me 2) Conviction does that to you and lastly, 3) Could this be confirmation that I'm actually supposed to go? (just realized I "numbered" those thoughts a, 2, 3. Shesh).
And yet I still want to leave myself a back door in case things don't work out in Latin America. In case I really am crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment